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Friday, September 25, 2009

Martha Stewart Is Sorry That Jessica Simpson's Dog Got Snatched Up By A Goddamn Coyote

About a week or so ago Jessica Simpson's Maltese poodle got snatched up by a goddamn coyote. While a lot of people were expressing their sympathy and condolences to Jessica Simpson over her loss, Martha Stewart told Usmagazine:

"It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful."

Of course Usmagazine would consider something like this newsworthy. This is the same magazine whose readers find pictures of Jon Gosselin buying toilet paper to be the highlight of their deep fried lives. Usmagazine.com has such little respect for their readers' attention span that even in the MIDDLE of this story they post links in hot pink to "see how Jessica's lips have changed."

But anyways, was it wrong for Martha Stewart to make such a comment? No, no it was not. It is indeed sad that Jessica Simpson's dog got snatched up by a goddamn coyote, but one would expect pet owners to be more vigilant in coyote-laden areas. Well I guess enough people complained about Martha Stewart's comments that she issued another statement:

"I said that she should have been watching her dog more closely, but I feel very, very sorry for anybody that loses a pet. Jessica, I hope you find your pet, but if you don't, I'm really sorry that you lost one."

In fact, Martha Stewart herself recent lost a pet. Her chow puppy was killed in a PROPANE EXPLOSION. What is with these tiny little puppies dying in ways that seem scripted for a Seth Rogen movie?