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Monday, September 28, 2009

Some Millionaire Douche Gets His Ass Kicked In Jail

Look at this guy. Doesn't he just look like an asshole? He looks like the bad guy from every 80s movie ever made...like the banker who stops the neighborhood kids from having their own baseball field by buying the land and trying to turn it into a laundromat.

So who is this guy? His name is Allen Stanford. And when he wasn't busy trying to ruin the lives of the Goonies, he was running a massive $7 billion Ponzi scheme. He stole money from thousands upon thousands of investors and lived like royalty. Of course he got arrested and while awaiting trial, he got the ever-loving shit kicked out of him. According to AOL news:

Disgraced Texas financier R. Allen Stanford was beaten up in jail and needed to be hospitalized over the weekend, according to several media sources.

I just find it hugely ironic that now that he's in jail, he's getting his ass kicked and probably raped by the same sort of people that used to mop his kitchen. I can't even imagine the shock this guy must have felt going to jail. There was no transition period for him...no slow, downward spiral into failure. One day he's riding in a $50 million yacht...the next day he's getting urinated on by a guy who can't spell his own name.

Right now he's facing 21 federal felony charges. That is guaranteed to give him plenty of time in prison to reflect on his lifetime of trying to kill Eddie Murphy.