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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Dumbass Spencer Pratt Calls Himself The "White Jay-Z"

I've refrained from talking shit about Spencer Pratt for a long time because it was just too easy. It would be like pistol whipping a blind monkey. But I just read an article (on CNN.com of all places) where he said so many blindingly stupid things that it just pushed me over the tipping point. So I'm going to list some of the most memorably retarded things that Spencer Pratt has said recently.

1. "I've decided since there is a Queen of England and a Prince William that there should be a king of America. I nominate myself for that role."

2. On his wife, Heidi Montag's, lip synced garbage-ass performance at the Miss Universe contest: "We appreciate every second people spend talking about the greatest performance in the history of television, which over a billion people saw."

3. "Heidi gets possessed with Michael Jackson's divine spirit."

4. "Speidi [Spencer + Heidi] is Barack and Michelle famous, not Kardashian famous."

5. He would like to go on a double date with the Obamas to "share the spotlight."

6. Heidi is "way bigger" than Michael Jackson.

7. In the event Heidi gets pregnant: "I told her there's a divorce or adoption. If she's not down with the adoption, I think it's divorce."

8. And finally, yes, he actually calls himself the "white Jay-Z." He even is producing a rap album. I could actually write an entire article on this alone. But instead I'm just going to link to his video for his single, I'm A Celebrity. If you're at work, don't worry, it's hilarious even with the sound off.

The list is endless. Spencer Pratt says the most inane things and he doesn't even have the excuse of frontal lobe brain damage like Garey Busey does. His wife is a horse toothed jackass (just like Garey Busey) and it's nice that he supports her, but he does them both damage when he says the stuff he does. Bigger than Michael Jackson? Get that shit out of my face.