KFC...Fighting Breast Cancer With Colon Cancer

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KFC just announced their partenrship with the Susan G Komen race for the cure. They're selling big ass buckets of chicken and donating part of the sale to breast cancer research. And to remind you of this, the buckets are pink.

But guess what, KFC, you're not fooling anyone. Your chicken is the most unhealthy thing in the world. The only people who eat your food are people who gave up on life a long time ago...people who finish family sized bags of Doritos by themselves in one sitting. It's nice that you're giving money to a good cause and I applaud that, especially since I'm pretty sure I have breast cancer, but we all know it's just a thinly veiled attempt to disguise how bad your product is for people.

With everyone talking about an obesity "epidemic," it's obvious KFC just wants to deflect attention away from their delicious but ghastly product. They know that their core audience - people who haven't given a fuck since "Full House" was on the air - will continue to provide them with steady revenue no matter what...so all they need to do is just avoid a giant fucking class action lawsuit like McDonald's got hit with.

You want to know how I know this? Because I just saw a commercial for something called the KFC Double Down. It's two slices of fried chicken breasts filled with bacon, cheese and sauce. And in case you're wondering, yes, they replaced the bread portion of the sandwhich with fucking fried chicken.