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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Michael Bay is a genius

Michael Bay is a genius among geniuses. Take a look at just a few of the movies he's produced:

1. Transformers
2. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
3. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

What do they have in common? They are all terrible, terrible movies. This point would lead many to argue that he is not a genius, but in fact quite the opposite. A buffoon, a crock, or perhaps even simply just an asshole. His "Transformers" series was especially notable for its stupid story lines, filled with unnecessary, slow motion explosions. And at any given moment devoid of an explosion or a fight scene, there are jokes. Stupid, unfunny jokes. Jokes such as the little girl in the first Transformers asking a 100 ton automoton as he steps out of a swimming pool if he is the tooth fairy. Jokes such as the mother character running around her son's college campus while intoxicated on marijuana and screaming nonsensical gibberish like a halfwit. Many movie critics, amateur and professional alike, have criticized Michael Bay based on these above points. He has been ridiculed as someone who shamelessly produces big budget trash to appeal to the masses. The sweat soaked, barely literate, YouTube commenting masses.

These critics are all correct, and therein lies Michael Bay's genius. His movies have all made an extraordinary amount of money. More specifically, they have made him an extraordinary amount of money. He discovered a formula which works: balloon budget movies with simple story lines, lots of explosions, sexy women, and Harold and Kumar style jokes. People routinely come back in droves to see his horrible movies and pay handsomely to do so. I have no doubt that he is capable of producing very fine work; I'm sure he could produce movies which have characters that are more than one dimensional idiots and story lines which are original, realistic, emotionally gripping, and don't center around someone trying to save the Earth from destruction. But why should he? He fully understands that his target audience of stupid people and very stupid people are appreciative of not having to think. Michael Bay in turn obliges them, and for that he is rewarded with millions upon millions of dollars. Let someone else produce movies like "There Will Be Blood" and "Revolutionary Road." Michael Bay is too busy producing the movies that his audience demands and becoming incredibly wealthy in the process.

His latest project, "Zombies vs Robots," is currently in production and slated for release in 2013.