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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Paula Abdul "Quits" American Idol

If you're wondering why "quits" is in quotation marks, it's because I don't believe that Paula Abdul quit a damn thing. According to the The Insider, here's what Fox had to say:

"Paula Abdul has been an important part of the 'American Idol' family over the last eight seasons and we are saddened that she has decided not to return to the show," Fox tells "The Insider." "While Paula will not be continuing with us, she's a tremendous talent and we wish her the best."

I'm pretty sure it was agreed upon between Paula and the American Idol producers that this was a polite way to fire her and let her save face at the same time. I guess Fox thought it would be too much of a liability if she showed up to a live recording and died of an oxycontin overdose during a performance.

Honestly though, I think firing her was a mistake. American Idol is so painfully formulaic that it needs someone like her with her ridiculous antics to make that show interesting. And the decision to replace her with Kara DioGuardi was a huge mistake. She's about as interesting as an end table. If it were up to me, I would have replaced Paula with Gary Busey. He's crazier than her and it's not due to substance abuse...that's just how he is. Here are some actual quotes by Gary Busey:

"You know what `FAILING` stands for? It stands for `Finding An Important Lesson, Inviting Needed Growth."

"Drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling."

You know what `FEAR` stands for? It stands for `False Evidence Appearing Real.` It`s the darkroom where Satan develops his negatives.