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Friday, December 18, 2009

Who The Fuck Would Buy Antonio Banderas' Cologne?

Britney Spears has her own perfume. So does Beyonce. I get it. Young girls eat that shit up. But Antonio Banderas? Who in their right fucking mind would buy his cologne? Even if it smelled amazing, if someone were to ask what kind of cologne you had on, you'd have to either lie or admit that you're wearing Antonio Banderas' cologne. I went to amazon.com to look at reviews of this from people who actually paid money for this shit. It was absolutely hilarious. Some of these assholes didn't even try to mask the fact that they obviously either worked for the manufacturer or were actively fucking Antonio Banderas. Here is one example:

Every once in a great while a fragrance is found that seems to exemplify the person for whom it is named. Such is the case with "Spirit Antonio Banderas." Spirit is available in a 1 oz. and 1.7 oz spray, as well as in an After Shave Balm and Shower Gel.

Yeah, that sounds like a really fucking genuine review. Here are some other assholes that inexplicably have their own perfume:

- Patrick Dempsey: "2"
What a fantastic idea...naming your scent with the same euphemism used for bowel movements.

- Sarah Jessica Parker: "SJP NYC"
Question: What does a tired ass 45 year old socialite who would sell her kidney to be 22 years old smell like?

- Kim Kardashian: "Kim Kardashian Perfume"
So this is what herpes mixed with insecurity smells like.

- Tim McGraw and Faith Hill: various scents
Now boys and girls alike get to smell like deep fried eggo waffles and cow biscuits.